Kitten With a Whip Reviews
Movies That Give Horror Flicks a Bad Name

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Dead Hate the Living, The (1999)

My God, What a Stupid Movie

I am still wondering what I was thinking when I rented this. I read about it in Fango and remembered them talking about how their zombies didn't eat human flesh, they just wanted to rip humans up, due to the fact that "it costs too much" to show cannibalism. I guess the premise of some filmmakers making a zombie flick in an abandomed asylum/hospital/whatever it was only to find real zombies there seemed sort of neat. MAN was I wrong. I knew I had made a huge error in judgement by renting it when early on, there is a scene where a supposedly 'hot' blonde babe wearing all black or course, goes into a convenience store for supplies. The cashier leers at her while ringing it up, then says, "that'll be $36.97" and she simply takes the sack, glares at him, and walks off making some rude comment. He just stares at her. You know what they forgot to include in the scene? See, there's this tradition when you make a purchase where after you find out the total, you
actually give the salesperson some form of currency in exchange for your items. And the guy doesn't remark in any way about her not paying (or make any remark at all), so you know it was just sheer sloppiness on the part of the filmmakers. It just got worse from there.

The worst make-up effects I've seen in quite some time, and that's saying a lot. The stupid "skull" makeup on some guy playing a zombie actually gets
less realistic when he turns into a zombie for real. I would like to give them a little credit for using air bladders instead of CGI (yeah, like they could afford it even if they wanted to use it), but they actually parts of a guy's skeleton stretching like it was made of rubber. Little hint when you use air bladders guys, try to restrict them to parts of the body that actually stretch. One particularly bad effect was fake teeth, supposed to be part of the skull showing through, that actually were visibly glued on top of his upper lip (there was a second set underneath). Please note that I am making the effect sound more realistic than it was. The acting was slightly above average, but with lines like, "I think we've slipped into some kind of, like, netherworld, man" what can ya do? The plot seemed like it was being made up as they went along. There were elements that just plain insulted the audience's intelligence, such as a zombie whose main feature was that he visibly lacked any semblance of a nose, sniffing someone to see if they were human. I could predict everything before it happened.

Don't even get me started on the much better films that they ripped off blatantly (and DON'T try to tell me they were homages, I know the difference) such as Fright Night, Alien 4, Dusk Till Dawn, all the Evil Dead Movies...those are just off the top of my head, too. At one point, the Rob Zombie character says, "Make them die...slowly" and I guess we are supposed to be impressed that they tossed in a reference to the cannibal flick of the same name. As far as the ending, they seem to have just ran out of money and film as many threads were left hanging (I have a horrible feeling this is because they were planning a sequel). Oh, and the credits were lifted from se7en. God, I wish I hadn't I wasted 3 bucks and 90 minutes of my life on this stupid piece of s***!

Grade: D-

Milo (1998)

I  want the 90 minutes of my life back I wasted watching this

I've seen plenty of horror movies, and plenty of bad ones, and this was one of the WORST. It starts with a slightly interesting prologue which is really the best part of the